Somewhere Out There
by Andrea Sinisterra
Summary: AU, 1xR. Heero and Relena's daughter is kidnapped. So when finally everything snaps, there are no clues, hope is almost gone, will Relena end up at a madhouse? There's a high probability that their daughter's dead...
1. Prologue

This story is dedicated to all those parents who have lost so much but have also gained wisdom deeper and clearer than any oblivion. To the little souls of those who live no longer in this world, but whose hearts reside in an eternity beyond any depravation. To all those families that are devoted to love, even beyond death. Because a love between a parent and their offspring is eternal. To all of you, I dedicate.   
  
* * *   
  
Somewhere Out There   
By Andrea Sinisterra   
Angst/Tragedy   
Rated R   
  
**Prologue**   
  
* * *   
  
The pain of tears shed   
For someone held dear   
Pierces the earth, and drenches the land...   
I want to end this sorrow!!   
  
"Last Impression"   
- Two Mix   
  
* * *   
  
  
_"Mommy! Daddy!" Little 6 year old Victoria called to her parents. __  
  
Relena waved to her daughter, a brilliant smile on her face. "Honey, hold still, daddy's going to take you a picture."   
  
Victoria pouted, swinging her arms in her attempt to exasperate her father. "But I don't wanna take a picture!"   
  
Heero's eyes narrowed at his daughter's quirks, crossing arms over his chest, "Victoria." He warned.   
  
"I love you, daddy. But I don't want to take a picture!"   
  
Heero looked at Relena, his eyes narrower than before, "she spends too much time with you."   
  
"Heero, you know how she loves to tease you." Relena laughed softly, advancing towards her husband, and circling his waist from behind, "and you're so fun to tease."   
  
Abruptly, Heero turned in her arms, hurling her to the soft grass, before smothering her in tickles.   
  
"Oh my God!" Relena squealed, screamed, fought, and laughed, her lungs crying for the air she giggled out, "stop it!"   
  
Heero laughed with her, his expert fingers finding her most ticklish places with ease, "YOU are the tease." He saw Victoria giggling, and Heero told her to join him, "but only if you promise to let me take the picture."   
  
"I promise," More to get to the tickling than really committing to the promise.   
  
Relena screamed again, the small hands of her daughter attaching themselves to her sides, "this is not faaaiiirrrr!!"   
  
"Promise to never tease me again."   
  
"I promise!"   
  
Victoria laughed.   
  
"Promise to tell my daughter to never tease me again."   
  
"Our daugh-- Promise!"   
  
"Promise to give me a kiss after I'm done."   
  
"I promise, I promise!"   
  
"Promise to-"   
  
"Heero!!"   
  
Heero laughed, but his hands ceased their torture.   
  
Relena gasped for breath, swatting the lingering hands of her husband and daughter away. "You two are so cruel. You, no more kisses, and you, no more hugs."   
  
It was really comical when father and daughter pouted at the same time, each unaware of the other doing the same.   
  
They found a man who kindly accepted to take them a picture, and as they sat on a stone bench, with Victoria in the middle, she whispered an 'I love you' loud enough for both parents to hear.   
  
And just as the camera flashed, Victoria smiled while Heero and Relena looked at her, each with wonder and smiles on their faces._   
  
***   
  
Relena woke from her dream, disoriented and tipsy from the lingering effects of the drugs the doctor had prescribed for her. Her blue eyes, glassy and blood-shot roamed the dark room, her body numb and her arm tingled almost painfully. The skin where the sedative had been injected was red almost purplish, but she ignored the sight, bound on finding her husband.   
  
He was nowhere to be found. After a clumsy attempt of leaving the bed, with her ending on the floor, she managed to get to the bedroom door, supported by desks and walls. She tried calling him, but her voice was rough, hoarse and she felt a disturbing itch on her throat whenever she tried to speak. Her knees wobbled, but she caught herself, landing harshly on a little side table reclining to one wall.   
  
She took deep, gasping breaths, calming herself, and steadying her legs, before she tried to continue. Where was he? Why wasn't he with her while she was out? Didn't he know that he was the only person she had left? That he was the only lifeline she had that kept her from loosing her sanity? Didn't he know she needed him!?!   
  
As she rounded the corner, her thoughts and questions all came to an immediate halt, her eyes taking in his dirty hair, and his slumped, shaking shoulders. He was crouching on the floor, head resting on his knees and arms hugging his legs… his back to the pink door.   
  
Heero. Oh, God, how she suffered seeing him like this. Relena approached him, kneeling in the space between his legs, and before she could say something, his hands wound around her body, and pulled her to his arms.   
  
Their tears mingled together, losing themselves in the folds of their clothes, their hands, frantic tugging on each other as they strived to mesh their bodies into one. Their hug, at once, full of fear as it was of pain and sorrow. Relena could feel the wetness on her hair from the thousand tears he had cried, and that she knew, were nowhere near to being completely shed.   
  
"How is your arm?" He asked after a long time a mutual silence had gone by, his hands running down the smooth planes of her face and down the silk of her hair. "Does it hurt?"   
  
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." She bit her lip for a moment, her thoughts wandering for a minute, "I really lost it back there, didn't I?"   
  
"You were in a shock. It's comprehensible. I was worried about you. They were really rough on you when they-"   
  
She silenced him with an index to his lips, a shushing sound soothing his troubled psyche. They watched each other's eyes, as if they did so, they could drown in each other, and leave this world to end their misery and their heartache. A sorrow deeper than any ocean and darker than any oblivion resided their hearts and will forever weigh their souls.   
  
Heero struggled to his feet, hefting her up a moment later. Relena pressed her cold body to the side of his equally cold one, her hands resting on his chest, just where his heart beat; the sound lulling her to unconscious peace. "I told myself I could do it. That I-"   
  
He took a deep breath, enforced by the rush of warmth coming from his wife, "I can't open it."   
  
Relena sighed, lifting her head all the way up to maintain the tears and prevent them from falling, a deep breath filling and leaving her lungs. "I miss her so much, Heero." A small sob broke her voice, but she was determined to say what she needed to say, "It's not fair! I want her back!"   
  
Heero turned the sobbing woman into his arms, hugging her harder than necessary, but he was encouraged when she hugged him harder still. "I know. I want her back, too."   
  
And with no resistance, he guided her back through the maze of halls and corridors, darkness dispersing in the space they vacated, and concealing the pink door in its embrace.   
  
  


  
TBC...   
  


  
  
So, how did you like it? Should I continue or definitely get my day job back? Please, review 'cause I seriously want to know what you think; I wasn't very sure about this type of story, you know, the angst and the overall theme, but I really got into it, and I really like how it's turning out. Please, whatever you think about it, write it down and post it. Thank you.


	2. Chapter One

Author's Note: I know I may get some comments about Heero... I know he seems out of character, and he is, really.... but I am a firm believer that marriage: a wife and a child are bound to change ANY man. Okay, that's all I wanted to say. Thank you, enjoy!!!

Also, there is humor in this part. Lots of it. But I will maintain the rating as it is because the story IS angsty. I'm almost finished on Chapter 2, don't you all just loooove me, so I'll be posting it soon, just be warned that it contains heavy doses of angst. This chapter is just to give you a glimpse of their life 'before'.

Somewhere Out There

By Andrea Sinisterra

Angst/Tragedy

Rated R

[B]Part 1[/B]

* * * 

[i]Before...[/i]

Somehow, despite the shades being drawn closed, the sunlight peeked through the edges bringing the unwelcome day barging in to the tired and exhausted occupants of the elaborate bedroom. Relena threw her arm over her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to block the light. She made a mental note to buy a new set of curtains, heavier and darker curtains. She turned her head to the side, and groaned softly at the face of her husband sleeping peacefully on top of the heavy mattress, his relaxed face unknowingly drawing her attention, for it was very rare to see him without a frown wrinkling his handsomely dark features.

She was freezing! How on Earth can he sleep on top of the covers, when she herself had the mattress up to her ears? This confirmed her initial suspicions about her husband: he was not human. Maybe, Dr. J had built himself a robot that could do all the things a human soldier would be incapable or would have difficulties doing. That would explain a lot of things about him. For instance, how could he survive all those blasts and shots he received during the war? Let alone survive the explosion when he self-detonated Wing Zero? Hello!?! Another thing; how, on all those occasions when they were gathered with their friends, Duo and Hilde, Quatre and Dorothy, Sally, Trowa, Wufei, when they were all chatting and laughing at Duo's often hilarious anecdotes and jokes, or when they used to make fun of Quatre's naiveté whenever Dorothy turned on to flirting mode, and he would go spluttering his coffee, his cheeks ablaze, trying to dislodge her from his lap, or even the frequent Sally/Wufei fights that were never ending, with him ordering her around and calling her 'woman' and she complaining telling him to go take a dump and then proceeding to ignore the already pissed off Wufei... God, how could he not at LEAST smile after all those stomach clenching moments!? Didn't he have a merry bone in his entire body!?

Certainly, that man wasn't human.

She shivered under the covers. How can it be so cold in this room when that hellish sunbeam won't let me sleep!?! What time was it anyway? It had been very late last night when she finally decided to turn in. She had been feeling kind of tipsy after the three glasses of whine she had drunk. Three? Maybe they were five... but who was keeping count? Hence the reason her head throbbed the moment she lowered her feet to the floor.

Oh, but last night had been heaven. She had felt like a fairy in a world of glitter and stars, with her 'fairy husband' twirling her around in an endless tune that spoke of magic. Of course, Heero would just kill her and throw her body into the ocean if he ever discovered she had called him 'fairy husband'. Yes, surely her husband's undying love and loyalty wouldn't go THAT far.

Her mind wandered to the party events of the previous night while she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and her hair. She really had floated last night, because after all the dancing she and Heero did, her feet should have fallen off in mid step. But they never bothered, even though her heels were 3 inches high. She smiled, applying a generous amount of toothpaste to her brush, the perks of having a strong, ex-Gundam pilot husband. Yes.

The freshness of her toothpaste made her close her eyes in simple delight. 

They had been the sensation of the evening; the Yuy family. Heero in an immaculate black tuxedo, tight and loose in the right places, tailored just for him; and Relena and Victoria, in almost matching dresses of the purest white, Victoria with small rosebuds threaded through her hair, and Relena with a necklace of deep rubies and small sparkling diamonds set in platinum gold. Certainly, they had rocked a few worlds around.

Relena smiled around her toothbrush, pleased with herself. 

If only she didn't have this headache! Oh, well. Her birthday. Heero had really done it this time. Roses, candy, dances, dinner, more roses, little notes, calls, more candies... There must be a vase with flowers in every surface of the house; Relena thought suddenly, with all the ones he showered her with she could easily start her own flower shop. Yes, most likely. 

She walked into the room, throwing open the curtains, and cheerfully humming a medley while she went from corner to corner, even once kneeling on the floor to look under the bed, searching for her silk robe.

She had used it yesterday, hadn't she? Last night. Where could it be? The soft knock caught her attention; Victoria pushed the door open and left it ajar, going directly to her mother.

"Hey, honey. Good morning." Relena smiled, lifting the girl into her arms, "God, Tory, you get heavier everyday. One of these day I won't be able to carry you anymore."

Victoria kissed her mother's cheek in greeting, and then she was deposited on the floor again. "Dad's still asleep!?"

Relena shushed the girl, amused by the horror displayed on her daughter's face. "He's tired, he danced with both of us, remember?"

"And with Miss Catherine."

"And Sally."

"And with Aunt Lu."

"Okay, stop it, I'm starting to get jealous." Relena laughed. 

They left the room, Relena dressed in her long-searched-for robe, closing the door behind them as quietly as possible as to not disturb the man in it.

They spoke in low tones as they made their way to the kitchen, both with growling stomachs that hungered for Pagan's breakfast. They entered the kitchen, their noses picking up the distinctive smell of bacon, eggs, bread, and coffee.

"Good morning." Lucrezia's happy cheerful greeting was a deep contrast to her husband's growled through clenched teeth, "Morning."

"Why, Milliardo, I thought you were having so much fun last night!" The mockery in Relena's voice made Lucrezia laugh, and caused Milliardo's scowl to deepen.

"I think he had *way* too much fun last night."

Milliardo doused his toasts in marmalade, "I just had a drink too many." He winced, "my head hurts."

"You're such a baby."

"I had a lot of fun last night." Victoria said flippantly, openly mocking her uncle, "a lot of fun."

Milliardo's eyes narrowed, "Pagan, is it just me, or are all the women in this house suddenly against me?"

Pagan, who had remained quiet, but was deeply amused by all the bickering so early on a Sunday, brought a plate full of bacon to the table, "it is not just you, Master Milliardo, I see it, too."

Relena laughed, "Oh, Pagan, but you're enjoying yourself, aren't you?"

Pagan smiled, sitting with the family to eat breakfast, "Oh, I wouldn't miss a Sunday breakfast for the world... and I would never ever miss a situation were Master Milliardo is alone with the three of you." Pagan laughed softly, "There are things that are just priceless."

It was this picture of his whole family that greeted him, the moment Heero entered the kitchen, a scowl on his face, and then plopped himself on the empty seat between Milliardo and Relena, "I have a hangover from hell." He muttered.

Milliardo snorted, "join the club." While the rest laughed.

* * *

They say that 'Christmas Shopping Panic' starts the tenth day of December, when all the stores in every single mall ever created by mankind is on sale. And Relena just proved the veracity of that notion. The day had started half wrong, anyway, with the lingering hangover of the drinks from the night before, but then, breakfast definitely made up for it.

The question was: did she feel up to it?

Relena smiled to herself, as she and Victoria joined the throng of people making their way in and out the stores. But of course she was up to it!! She was a loyal compulsive shopper after all. And she was determined to make her daughter one before she reached puberty. Relena swore to herself.

Heero walked behind the two girls, hands in pocket, pulled by an invisible string. He really shouldn't be here. He could be playing darts with Trowa, or pool with Quatre, or kicking Duo's ass, or even freakin' meditating with Wufei, for all he cared... but no! He was stuck following crazy women bound to buy an entire mall. He breathed out heavily.

Yes, this was going to be a long evening.

Still, he marveled at the change in Relena's attitude. She had changed so much since the day he met her for the first time. Then, during the first years of their marriage, she had been such a busy woman; living on a stressed wire of plan and meetings a Minister of Foreign Affairs is committed to. They had been really crazy for each other during those years, with her in her meetings and he as her personal bodyguard, and on top of that, Chief of Security on her administration, their time together was reduced to the minimum, when at night they finally retired for the day, too exhausted to do anything else but sleep.

But they won time during little escapades between meetings, seminars, and dinners. They always managed time. It was all they could do. Until one day, she just retired. Dropped everything the moment she found out she was pregnant.

It was a wonder, really, to see her go through the pregnancy. He always knew she would be a great mother. And she was, still is. Totally devoted to Victoria... and him. Heero smiled almost with satisfaction.

God, but how had he changed living with her... the change that knowing her had caused. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He hadn't known a human was capable of such feelings... no, he hadn't known that HE could be capable of having such feelings... as if your life depended solely on the existence of two other people. He now knew what people meant when they say that 'someone means the world' to them. Relena and Victoria were his everything. His purpose on life was not to live his own life, or to maintain peace, or to fight wars, or anything like that... no, his purpose was to see a smile on their faces every moment of every day for the rest of their lives.

Except when they went shopping... Really, when they go shopping, they turn into evil, head eating, acid-saliva spitting monsters, whose sole purpose in the universe was to wipe his pocket clean. Yep, shopping was the hobby of the devil. Sadly, he was always dragged to their sprees; why? Because they needed his unique help, the help only he could offer, his unequalled services: he had to carry their shopping bags... He wouldn't mind carrying a few heavy bags for his girls, really, he was a true gentleman, but the bags overflowed his arms, dozens, hundreds, thousands of bags from every mayor shop in the city.

That's why he learned something useful, something he would always resort to: the limousine. AND the chauffer, of course. The chauffer would follow them wherever they went, so all he had to do was dump the bags into the trunk, and follow the crazy monsters on to the next lair... simple as that.

He was a genius.

It was truly amusing the similarities between mother and daughter... and not only physically. Granted, they were identical, same hair in texture and color; same skin tone; same bone structure; small feet; small hands with long fingers, even if Victoria was just eight. The only claim Heero had on the girl were half her genes and the eyes, Victoria had the same deep blue as he. Although he would have preferred if she had inherited his hair color rather than the eyes, because the intensity in those blues was unnerving... he often found himself challenged whenever he told his daughter something, even though Victoria loved and respected him.

It was just that he would have preferred being confronted to light blue eyes, ones he was already used to, and not *his* eyes... Heero shook his head at his foolish thoughts.

He started roaming around the lavish tables of clothes, men underwear, and ties, as he waited for them. Now and then, one or the other would come out of the dressing room, twirling around in her new pants or shirt or shoes and flashing jewelry, accepting his nod or shake of the head to scramble inside... and then come out again with one thing or another. Then, with a salesclerk in tow, they would go to the cash register, pay with [b]his[/b] credit card, and plop the bags in [B]his[/B] arms... 

He hated Christmas. He really did.

Heero sighed, depositing more bags into the trunk of the limousine. 

"Okay, I'm almost finished." Relena said, scratching names, and items on a list, "I still need to buy Pagan's gift. And Lady Une, that one's easy..."

Victoria latched herself onto her father's pants, "Dad." She said, her voice stating a command.

Heero smiled, scooping the girl up in his arms, "daughter."

Relena gave them a strange look, shrugged, and went back to her list.

"Daddy of mine. You know how much I love you, and that there's no other dad in the world that could match you." Victoria smiled charmingly, "You're handsome, you're strong, you're a good dad, and I'm hungry."

Heero snorted, something that in all their time together, Relena had started to interpret as a hearty laugh, "Victoria, you really are something." She snuggled to her husband. "But now that you've mentioned it, I'm famished. Really and truly hungry."

"Really and truly?" Heero grabbed her around her waist, "yeah, me, too."

"Wait," Relena stopped in mid-stride, grabbing his shirt.

"Momma!" Victoria whined, "I'm hungry!"

Heero rolled his eyes, "I swear, Relena, if you have to buy one more thing, next Christmas we'll need a truck because the limousine won't do it anymore."

"Oh, don't be silly." Relena laughed, dragging him once again into the crowd, "I just need to buy some curtains."

"Momma!"

TBC...


	3. Chapter Two

Somewhere Out There  
  
By Andrea Sinisterra  
  
Standard Disclaimers Apply  
  
Part 2  
  
***  
  
Relena knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was her fault the moment she found her gone.  
  
***  
  
That day (a Tuesday morning) started out on the wrong foot. The moment her eyes opened to the first rays of light, she knew something was going to happen... something bad. Like a burden on her heart. She laid in bed long moments, looking at the framed photo of her, Victoria, and Heero that the old man had taken during a hot summer a few years back. A smile crossed her lips; she really liked it; it was like a moment of wonder frozen in time... her family.  
  
The brief moment of peace that the picture gave her left a moment later, as the feeling from moments before returned with a flash. Doom; the word kept bothering her mind. Lingering, as if waiting for disgrace and pain. The feeling was with her from the moment she left the bed, through shower, breakfast, and to the moment she went to see her daughter.  
  
It surprised her, it really did-- her unconscious need to see her and Heero. What was going on with her? The last time she felt this way was when Milliardo was chosen as the head of White Fang, and her need to see him and talk to him...  
  
The feeling doubled and then tripled, when she and Victoria settled inside the limousine, their chat easy-going and flippant, even though Relena felt as if her life would end at the end of the road.  
  
You're being silly, she kept telling herself, you're just nervous because of the Christmas dinner preparations.  
  
How she wished it were only that.  
  
She hated herself, now, for ignoring her fear. Hated herself more than anything and anyone in the world; hated herself for being stupid and selfish, for ever drinking that night on her birthday... if she had never drunk, then the morning light wouldn't have ever bothered her, and she wouldn't have been stupid about it, and the curtains...  
  
It was really silly. It was all because of some stupid curtains.  
  
And if she didn't go to Hell, she would commit herself to an internal one until the day she died.  
  
It was early in the afternoon, around two or so, the moment her life changed forever. If only she had listened to her fears, if only she hadn't wanted those damn curtains, if only Heero had been with her... if only...  
  
Later in her life, she would learn that everything happens for reasons that are meant to be, even if people don't understand them.  
  
Her pace was brisk; from the moment she left the store till the moment she hurried inside the limousine, Victoria's hand in her left one, and her shopping bags in her other. She was so scared of everything, of hurrying inside the security and comfort of her car, that she didn't bother to wait for the chauffeur to walk around the car and open her door, she didn't even think twice.  
  
She should have found it weird when the car started, the black plastic window sealed and the chauffeur not asking her destination. She really should have found it strange, when the vehicle never stopped, so she didn't find it strange that maybe there were no stop signs and red lights on the way to the Manor. So intent was she on the sleeping girl on her lap.  
  
She did find herself, however, with her heart in her throat when the door flew open, a man in black pressing a cold cloth to her nose and mouth; the sound of her daughter's screams etched on her mind and the feeling of her grabs and kicks forever imprinted on her skin when she was grabbed and taken away from her side.  
  
Darkness beckoned her, and she found herself slipping into it, her eyes closing on the sight of her daughter's tear stained face before the door slammed shut.  
  
***  
  
Heero knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was his fault the moment he opened that door.  
  
***  
  
He knew something was off. It was sort of an itch he got whenever he felt something big was about to happen. It had happened countless times during the war, and again when he proposed to Relena and before she told him she was pregnant. Like a foresight of something near and life-changing.  
  
It all started with Relena's attitude the moment she left their bed. It was like she didn't see him, didn't even acknowledge his presence. She was distracted, utterly distracted, and that scared him. To unconsciously ignore things around her was something that really confused him; she had always been so alert, so attentive about things that were usually trivial to other people.  
  
Breakfast was a quiet affair consisting of a greeting and small talk between Pagan and Victoria, Relena in her world and he thinking about her. Their breakfasts were usually chitchat, gossiping, and sharing schedules, but today, nothing passed across the table except the bread and butter.  
  
He was scared by her attitude, but it all crashed and burned the moment she hugged Victoria and then kissed him, out of the blue, as if she were afraid they would disappear. He tried asking her if she was okay, if something was wrong-- anything to get her to tell him what was bothering her. But she just smiled and shook her head, kissing him tenderly as she called Miles, the chauffeur, telling him to get the car ready. He had wanted to go with her, but she wouldn't let him, telling him she and Victoria wanted the day for themselves, for a small girl-chat and that he shouldn't come in the way of the Peacecraft-Yuy women.  
  
He knew something was wrong. Which was why he hated himself for not stopping her.  
  
Unconsciously, the moment she left in the limousine, he checked his wristwatch, telling him it was a little after noon...  
  
The hours had come and gone in a flash that he couldn't seem to catch, so lost was he on her face and her actions of that morning. It was a quarter to five, and he had never felt so out of whack than how he felt during those hours. He had waited; maybe they went shopping for something else, a thought that didn't surprise him in the least. Maybe they had gone for some ice cream...  
  
He really hated himself for not going with them. He should have insisted, stopped her from going...  
  
They found the black sleek vehicle abandoned just beyond the city limits, dusty from mud and dirt, and with flat tires. He saw as the other Preventers went for the front seats, his mind intent on the passenger compartment, where he knew he would find answers to the clot in his throat.  
  
And he did, but the mysteries overflowed the answers he got.  
  
He didn't linger on the voice of one of his colleagues stating the death of David Miles, his fear overpowering him from further comprehension other than the state of his wife and daughter.  
  
Time didn't exist... it didn't elapse... it ceased its flow. He did linger then, his mind and focus reduced to the sight of Relena, his wife, the mother of his only child, lying in a heap of pale limbs, her hair strewn across her face, barely moving with her uneven breathing, plastered to her cheeks with long since dried tears. His attention was, however, not on her face, but on the thorns in her clothes and the bruises in her skin.  
  
Instead of anger, fear boiled his blood, feeding a rising anger that will soon be unleashed on whoever dared speak to him.  
  
He didn't pay attention to the sound of the ambulance; the sirens were automatically ignored, and so were the pleas of the EMS team. He was forced aside, and when he started fighting back, landing punches anywhere, several Preventers were required to push him to the ground, and then sedate him.  
  
A tear of rage escaped his eye, unnoticed. He desperately tried to catch what was being said around him, rushed murmurs from the Preventers, mumbled orders from the paramedics, deeply concerned voices above his head; the pressure was overbearing; his eyesight was failing and so was his hearing... but no one would say that Heero Yuy went without a fight.  
  
***  
  
She didn't know how many minutes or hours or days had gone by, and at first, she didn't even remember what had happened. Later on, she would treasure those moments of ignorance. The place was as foreign to her as any comprehension of any chemical composition. The sounds, the lights, the bed... it felt like she was being presented as the last piece of work at a multimillionaire's art exposition.  
  
She felt exposed. And as that thought crossed her mind, the memories flashed to her head in a rush of pain and dread. For some reason, the memories came in flashes, as if the memories were cut into pieces, and she had to play them one by one... walking to the store; getting into the car; watching Victoria sleep; the man in black; Victoria's crying face...  
  
When the remembrance of her daughter's frantic attempts to grab her came to her, on instinct she reached to rub hands over her arms... a vane attempt because her hands were tied to the bed.  
  
A sob of desperation choked her throat; she jerked her hands, trying to free them of their leather binds. She wanted someone, needed someone with her. She wanted comfort, wanted love, wanted company... she wanted her daughter back. Her eyes were blood-shot as they roamed the room, searching, looking for help, or someone who could give her answers... She started crying, the tears endlessly falling, even though she could barely feel them. Her body was numb from the shock of her situation; she could barely 'feel' herself anymore. She wanted Heero. Her cold and tired body collapsed on the bed with the realization that the person she most wanted to see was not with her.  
  
Her fear, her loss, her loneliness overwhelmed her: it was just too much for her. In her misery, pain, and self-hate, Relena finally snapped.  
  
Throughout the long white rows of silent rooms and halls, an echoing scream shattered the peace.  
  
TBC... 


	4. Chapter Three

Somewhere Out There

By Andrea Sinisterra

Angst/Tragedy

Rated R

Part 3

***

For some reason, he didn't feel like crawling through the darkness that surrounded him. He took in all the sounds, flashes of light, and general hysteria through closed eyelids, while his brain protested at the cold biting his skin.

Heero felt tears just behind his eyelids, and then something closing off his throat. Throwing an arm over his face, he couldn't help but feel useless… impotent. He didn't need a moment to readjust himself, to level the situation; he knew where he was, what had happened, who was missing… he knew who was waiting for him just a few doors down.

With the picture of his wife, with torn clothes and bruised skin, running through his head in vivid images while a rampaging anger flared in his eyes, Heero Yuy made his way down the white sterile hallways, looking through windows, inspecting the occupants, searching for the one person he most needed to see… 

And he did find her, just a couple of doors down from his. It was a sight he didn't wish on his worst enemy. He stood several moments on the threshold, leaning heavily against the doorframe, and although he commanded his body to move, it refused, as if forever rooted on the spot, away from the pale, fragile woman lying on the bed… 

Anger flared within his veins, making him clench his fists tightly, his knuckles turning white, and his short nails digging into his palms. Moisture tickled his eyes, and he had to blink several times to keep them at bay. There was really no more room for misery or pity. He could dimly feel his legs moving; simple movements of limbs, one before the other... simple movements that were so hard... movements he didn't want to make, as if moving would make things all that much more real.

When in fact, he was scared of seeing her.

A couple of steps, and he was by her side. Another simple movement, and he could easily touch her hand. But he kept himself from doing so; the firm resolution making his tired limbs tremble. 

Does she know? Does she remember? Is she aware of the situation? Is she aware that our daughter...? Heero shook his head from useless interrogations. He was becoming desperate; the contradiction of wanting to talk to her and the fear of confronting her was eating him inside out. 

Would she hate him? Would she cry? He was so clueless of what her reaction might be. And none of his predictions could have been farther from the truth... for the moment when Relena Peacecraft-Yuy opened her eyes, the world seemed to spin on its axis, and roll out of existence. Her eyes, usually blue and bright, were brilliant with tears and a blue so pale it was almost white... And Heero Yuy could only stare as his body slid down the wall to crouch at the far corner of the room.

It was a silent battle of wills. Relena struggled against the binds, finally settling down when she managed to sit up. Her body was pale, and never in his entire live had Heero seen somebody look so fragile… and miserable. Her hair was tangled, and it seemed darker than usual; her skin so pale it looked like marble, and it would have been flawless if it weren't for the bruises and several shallow cuts that littered her arms, legs, and face.

"Heero."

His mind urged him to stand up and walk to her, but something inside his body refused to follow his brain's demands.  Guilt ate at his insides; something he hadn't felt in almost thirteen years. God, so much has happened since that Christmas of 196 AC. He had thought that would be the end of everything. He had surrendered completely to her, and finally to his feelings. Admitted everything, and at the same time, learnt everything she had, and everything she was. Everything about her.

His mind wandered; it was a similar room to this, now that he thought about it, where Victoria had been delivered… where she had been brought to the living world; when she was brought to his arms for the very first time. He remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Bringing Relena to the hospital, and the rest was a blur of happenings. Relena screaming, grabbing his hand with impressive strength; her struggle so painfully visible in her face and labored breath. The hours seemed to collapse together in a jumble of screams, pushes, and encouraging words. Until finally, an infant's cry broke into the room. He remembered how his hands had trembled when he had to cut the baby's final joining with her mother. The lightweight of his newborn baby girl will be forever imprinted on his mind.

"Heero." There was a new urgency in her voice, a desperate tone that made her voice waver and then break. "Heero." And this time, he could painfully hear the tears that choked her word into syllables… his name had never seemed more foreign than this moment.

And he stood, then. His steps heavy, like weighted down with lead.

"Untie me." Her voice was hoarse. "Untie me, please."

She saw him stand, his eyes downcast. A thousand questions ran through her mind, none of which she could voice out loud. But seeing as how he couldn't look her in the eye, she couldn't help the sudden fear that gripped her heart.

His hands trembled lightly when he reached to touch her, although he still didn't lift his head. She wanted to reach out and touch his face, lift it to see his eyes. He was stalling. She knew it.

When he finally raised his eyes, Relena had to stop herself from gasping. Despite the hair the hid them, his eyes were an unusual blue so dark it was almost black… but what scared her were the emotions concealed in them: the fear, the confusion, and pain was almost unbearable for her to watch… a sudden flash crossed her mind, and she started fighting against the binds with a ferocity beyond her control.

She kicked and screamed, trashing back against the bed, her voice cracking with her tears. She closed her eyelids tightly, trying to keep the images of her daughter away; she screamed harder, to prevent the remembrance of her daughter's screams from reaching her ears.

***

"There are signs everywhere." One man was saying, "they ran some analysis on her fluids searching for indicatives of penetration or semen, and found none. HIV, negative. Any blood alteration, negative."

"So you're saying they came for Victoria?"

"I can't affirm anything... but all points that those men came looking for something, and apparently, they found it."

"But," Milliardo Peacecraft stopped, catching his breath, "you think they might ask for ransom?"

Duo sighed, "I really don't know. I'm sorry."

Milliardo's eyes narrowed, "Try telling that to them."

Duo's eyes also narrowed. He crossed arms over his chest. "How is she?"

"She woke two hours ago. She--" Milliardo swallowed, "They had to sedate her. She... lost it back there. They don't want to remove the binds on her arms and legs."

"You think she might run away?"

Milliardo sighed again. "Probably." A confused look came over his face. "I'm just worried about Heero; he's been out longer than Relena. I don't know what to do with him."

"What to do with him!? He's not some tool you can toss away!"

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I don't know if I'll be able to tell him about Relena... and Victoria."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Someone has to, though." Duo clapped his hand on the other man's shoulder, and then turned away.

***

The moment she woke up again, she knew he was in the room. His presence was soothing, lulling her into calm. Her mind was closed off to anything beyond him. She wanted to see him desperately for a reason she couldn't remember, and that at the moment she couldn't care less. She had felt her desperation grow when he didn't approach her, instead moving farther away from her.

The silence was killing her. She tried moving without him noticing, but her body protested, aches and minor pains prickling her skin here and there. Her cheek hurt, too, and she could just feel it swollen. But her mind didn't linger on her findings, never questioning the origin of her bruises. She was totally focused on the man sitting at the corner of the room.

The noises around her melted into the air. She knew nothing, heard nothing, and responded to nothing, she only wanted him by her side. Questions danced in her mind, but none were voiced; was he hurt? Why didn't he want to see her? Did he hate her? All her questions blurred away when he stood, and she struggled to sit up.

She didn't remember why she was tied up. She didn't really care. She just wanted to hold him, to soothe away that fear she didn't understand. A fear she unconsciously didn't want to understand.

But the moment she saw his eyes, the emotions flowing in the dark depths, something unlocked within her. She fought the images; the sudden flash hurting her eyes, even though they were closed. She screamed in fright, her eyes going to her legs in fear when she felt something grasp her… but nothing was there. She could feel pressures on her skin, jerks, and grasps that weren't really there. Behind her closed lids, she could see the tear stained face of her daughter, while she herself screamed harder to try and drown the screams and pleas that haunted her.

The grasps were firmer now, trying to hold her down, and she could dimly hear a voice behind her tired yelling. She fought harder still, trying to resist that arms that were hurting her, jerking her head sideways against the face that buried itself on her neck. She struck her hands out in any direction she could, trying to keep the persisting pressure from smothering her.

In her mind, Relena saw the men in black; the lean tall one fighting the struggling of her daughter, while the other, short and robust, held her down, trying to press the cold sharp scented cloth to her nose. His hands were rough as he tried to hold her still; a sharp slap to her cheek had her temporarily disoriented… although it didn't keep her from feeling the sting from her daughter's nails on her legs when she was finally taken away.

"Relena!"

The hold was no longer confining, but comforting, and she realized that the voice was smooth and loving, although frantic. Her wrists and ankles throbbed from her pulling, and her eyes stung from her tears. She opened her eyes; the whiteness of the room blinded her for a second, before she realized that she was being held tightly in a warm embrace.

Relena wanted to hug him back, but the binds restrained her from doing so, and she began to feel desperate again. She was sobbing now, broken whispers of names and apologies tumbling from her lips in a jumble of tears.

***

Milliardo Peacecraft never was a sentimental person. In the past, when he found out about Relena, he knew he had to protect her, he knew she was his responsibility… but he never showed her any affection. Of course there were smiles, and chats, and mocks around the house, but never a hug, or a kiss, or even words of appreciation were exchanged between them.

It all got worse, he guessed, when she started dating Heero Yuy. A killer. A person who couldn't possibly love like a normal person. A robot. He knew it, because he was one, too.

It had taken him a lot of time to get used to the idea of his little sister dating a killer like Heero Yuy; it took him a hell lot of a time getting used to the notion of becoming family with Heero Yuy. The stares, and the hatred from narrowed eyes that were exchanged between them didn't go unnoticed by Relena. Milliardo knew she suffered. Suffered because the people she loved did not accept her husband. 

It had been a long, strained journey to get Pagan and Milliardo to accept Heero as part of the family… and part of that journey had been Victoria. Victoria Yuy Peacecraft. His niece.

And now his niece was missing, his sister's sanity hung from a tender hook, and his brother in law has been unconscious for hours… and he couldn't feel a thing. He felt confused, lost, and for perhaps the first time in his life, he didn't know what to do.

Milliardo saw as Duo disappeared around the corner, the relief that his sister only carried a few minor bruises on her body left him almost calm… but the preoccupation that Heero was still unconscious had him making his way to his room.

As soon as he reached his room, he knew what he would find: an empty bed. But he didn't need to think too hard of his whereabouts. Milliardo simply made his way to the only other room Heero Yuy could have directed to. And what he saw through the window made him stop dead in his tracks. A cold grip seized him, making his skin run cold, and the hairs in it stand still.

No, he wasn't a sentimental person, but he did have a clue of what was the name of the sharp pain in his chest.

***

Just when Heero thought he couldn't take it anymore, her struggles ceased. It seemed as if her body had turned boneless, as if she had melted… Her breathing was harsh against his ear, and her chest heaved with her quieting sobbing.

Hesitantly, he lifted his head to look at her face, and he felt his heart stop for a moment, and then restart with its furious beating. He ran his thumbs over her eyebrows a second before he kissed them. He sighed as she tried to curl herself, an impossible task due to her bound wrists and ankles. Deftly, he untied the belts, wincing when she snatched her hands away to keep him from seeing the marks on her wrists. He walked to the end of the bed, and untied the second set, then standing still as he watched her movements…

"I'm sorry." Relena whispered, her voice hoarse, "I didn't mean to…"

Heero remained silent, unsure of what to do in her obvious confusion and questionable state of mind. "It's alright."

With great effort, she managed to sit up, her fingers running unconsciously over her bruised wrists, "I…" A sob broke her voice, but he felt his heart swell with pride when she took a deep breath and continued, "I didn't remember… I—I didn't want to remember." Relena ran her fingers through her hair, "she—she was taken away… there were two men—they were dressed in black—I couldn't see their faces!"

Heero gathered her in his arms as she cried, "they took her away—she fought—I can hear her crying, Heero!" There was a desperate, almost hysteric tone to her voice. Her words were frantic, and fast spoken, slurring them from clear comprehension. "She tried to reach me!" 

For the first time, Heero noticed the angry red scratches on her legs, "I tried to hold her hand," she placed her hand on her swollen cheek, "but he just—it hurt so much… I think I fainted—I don't remember much after that. He tried to—a white cloth—the smell! Oh, the smell!!"

Heero tried to calm her, unconsciously rocking her body back and forth. 

"I—I—she's gone!" Relena's cries grew in intensity, although she tried to muffle them against his shirt. "Do you remember the day she was born?" Relena smiled through her tears. "Who has her, Heero?! What did we do wrong? I should have protected her!" 

She drew back a little, the look in her eyes made his blood run cold, "YOU should have been there! I hate you! I hate you! It's your fault!"

She started struggling, again. She pounded her fists on his chest, and although they left no pain, the pain was from within. "You should have been there! You should have protected her, me—US!" She sobbed harder as she pushed against his chest with all her might. "Help me!" She screamed out loud.

Heero felt helpless. She wasn't herself, and even though he was no genius on the subject, he knew she was fighting against herself… but it didn't lessen its impact at all.

"Leave me! I hate you— you— you murderer! You killed her! It's your fault!" Her struggles were ceasing, and her voice was almost gone. 

Helplessness gave way to anger, and before he knew it, he had clamped a hand on her mouth, a ferocious look on his face. "Shut up!" He thundered, instantly feeling horrible when she jumped in fright. "Shut up." Though, this time, his voice was soft in defeat.

Her wide eyes filled again with tears before she seemed to collapse, her body melting against his, boneless. He gathered her into his lap, running his fingers through her hair. He gave a start of surprise when he felt her thin arms sliding around his neck.

Her scent filled him when she buried her head in his neck, landing a soft kiss on his throat. "I didn't mean—"

"I know."

"Heero," she started, "you are not a murderer… I just—I have no excuse… I-I'm sorry." Her arms tightened around him. "I want her back."

Heero took strength from the firmness in her statement. "We will get her back. I promise you, Relena."

Relena sighed, nodding her head with emphasis. "I know. We will. We can't lose her, Heero." She was falling asleep, exhaustion finally taking its toll on her. "I love you." She whispered before dozing off.

Heero sighed, arranging their bodies on the bed. He pulled her to him, his eyelids fighting a loosing battle. He pressed a kiss on her head. With plans and names running through his head, Heero Yuy finally fell in a disturbing sleep.

TBC...


End file.
